Friendship Friday Part 1: Making friends with chronic illness

 

I don't think it's any secret that the simple act of making friends is tricky when you have a chronic illness.

It prevents a lot of the organic methods of making friends such as common events, interests, and activities. When I think about where I've made friends, the list is all over the place:

• Activities such as volunteering, craft nights, and socials in my local area
• Jury duty (and we remain friends to this day!) 
• A few I met through mutual friends online
• Church
• Locational friends, such as neighbors or people who utilize the same dog park 

All of these places are somewhat limited for me now, especially since I moved away from where a majority of my friends live. Since moving, making friends has been a challenge. I made a few at a local church, which is amazing, and I know the neighbors in my immediate vicinity (I  always recommend anyone with a dog do this as they will know your dog if it gets out). But common interests and age are nice to have as well, and I'm working in this area.

Years ago a therapist told me to embrace the idea of "social snacking" while I'm out and I would find that many people are a lot more friendly than their exteriors let on. Since embracing this, I never hesitate to speak to the people in my vicinity. If I'm at a restaurant, I tell the person at the table next to us that she has a sweet little baby, how cute. Usually, if the ice is broken, people love to chat. We're all so lonely that often simply being noticed gets the ball rolling. You never know who is your undiscovered best friend.

So next time you're out, observe. See someone looking at the same painting you love? Tell them you love it too and ask if they like the artist. Speak to people with no judgment inside and you will find a whole new world of lovely, wholesome people.

Now, what if you can't get out much?

That's where I'm at right now. I am often too ill to do very much outside of the house, so I make efforts when I do get out to do the above. But staying inside the house alone is very hard. In this case, there are still a few options:

• Join support groups online for your health condition and attend their virtual meetings 
• Stay in touch with friends over the phone, video chat, or by texting
• Join Facebook groups for your local area and learn about events, some of which are virtual, that you can attend
• Host virtual craft/game/book club/anything you like and spread the word!
• Join virtual events at your local library
• I've been enjoying Make-alongs online; KnityNatty has one going that is lovely!

Those are my tips for meeting people, but there is always room for improvement. Please add any ideas in the comments!

Blessings,

Jessica