What NOT to say to someone with POTS or an invisible illness

 

Having an invisible illness is a double-edged sword: on one hand, it sucks that you are suffering unseen, and on the other hand it is nice because the first thing people see about you is not your illness.

A common problem with having an invisible illness as opposed to a very visible one is that whenever you use aids such as a wheelchair or parking permit, people are quick to point out that you don't look like you need it. I have encountered this myself. 

Sometimes it would be nice to "look" as sick as I feel so that the hurtful things people say cease. Some of the hurtful things that are said to people with invisible illnesses are: 

• You are too young to be sick.
• You don't look like you need a wheelchair (or disabled parking, or a cane, etc).
• Maybe if you tried praying about it, it would go away.
• You look great; you don't look sick.
• Just push through it!
• My disability is worse than yours. I don't want to hear about it from you.
  
• It's probably just anxiety (or depression, take your pick).
• Don't be so lazy.
• You're being overdramatic.
• You're just out of shape.
• Everything came back normal, so you must be fine.
• Have you tried x, y, or z?
• If you just had a positive mindset everything would be fine.
• If you didn't check your heart rate, it wouldn't bother you so much.
• Gosh. Imagine what you'll be like when you're 60.
• Just clean up your diet and your problems will go away.
• At least it's not cancer.
• You should leave the wheelchairs for the old people who need them.
• It could be worse.
• You're too young and cute to be that sick.
• Try yoga.
• Hope you feel better soon.
• At least you're not in a wheelchair.
• You're such a hypochondriac.
• Has a doctor actually diagnosed you with this?
• You look healthy to me, we probably don't need to do all of these tests.
• Your body just needs time to adjust.
• I watched you grow up, so I know what you're going through.
• You should focus more on your image than on your health.
• You caused it by doing x.
• You just want attention.
• Please just come with us, you'll be fine.
• Have you seen a therapist? Because this all seems psychosomatic.
• Everyone has bad days, that doesn't mean we lay around forever.
• Your blood pressure is low but you didn't pass out so just go back to class.
• It must be nice to stay at home and relax all day.
  
• I know people with your condition who aren't as sick as you.
• Just get better sleep.
• If you would lose weight you would feel better.
• You're letting the Devil win
• If you would stop taking so many medications you would feel better.
• How are you going to enjoy (or just get through) life if you have that attitude?